There’s a four-letter word that drives me up the wall in corporate life.
We. (Okay, it’s only two letters, but you get it.)
Not in the team spirit way. Not in the collaborative culture way. I’m talking about the passive-aggressive, responsibility-blurring, clarity-erasing kind of “we”:
“We need to make sure this gets done.”
“We should probably rethink that approach.”
“We can’t do it like this.”
Sound familiar?
What’s usually meant is:
“You need to do this.”
Or: “I don’t agree, but I’m not going to say so directly.”
The Corporate “We” Is Often a Disguise
Sometimes “we” is used to assign work without owning the ask:
- “We should follow up with the client” → You should follow up with the client.
- “We need better test coverage here” → You need to write more tests.
Other times, “we” is used to deflect disagreement:
- “We don’t do it that way” → I don’t want to do it that way.
- “We shouldn’t go live with this” → I don’t believe this is good enough, but I’m not ready to stand behind that belief on my own.
Instead of saying, “Here’s the standard of excellence I’m holding us to,” we fall back on vague, corporate-sounding consensus.
But let’s be honest: “we” can’t carry a decision that nobody is willing to own.
Why It Matters
Language shapes culture. And culture shapes trust.
When leaders or teammates hide behind “we,” it does a few damaging things:
- It avoids ownership. No one’s really responsible for the opinion or the task.
- It erodes clarity. Who is actually expected to do what?
- It discourages direct dialogue. If I disagree, who am I disagreeing with—you, or the mysterious collective we?
- It creates performative alignment. Everyone nods, nobody speaks plainly, and the best ideas or concerns go unspoken.
What to Say Instead
Let’s make this practical. Here’s what better communication looks like:
| If you mean… | Say this instead of “we” |
|---|---|
| I want you to do this | “Hey, can you take this on?” |
| I disagree with this approach | “Here’s why I don’t think this meets our standards.” |
| I think we need to act together | “Let’s tackle this as a team—I’ll do X if you can do Y.” |
| I think we should hold off | “I’m not comfortable shipping this yet because…” |
See the difference? It’s not confrontational—it’s clear.
It invites honesty. It invites trust.
And it gives people something solid to respond to, rather than guessing at what’s being asked or implied.
Servant Leadership Means Speaking Plainly
I’ve written before about servant leadership. One of the key practices of a servant-leader is foresight—naming what others might avoid, so the team can act with integrity.
Sometimes that means advocating for quality.
Sometimes that means owning responsibility.
Sometimes that means saying, “I see a risk here,” even if no one else has said it yet.
But it almost always means dropping the vague language and saying what you mean.
The Bottom Line
If you’re in a position of leadership—or even informal influence—your words carry weight. Use them carefully.
Don’t say “we” when you mean “you.”
Don’t say “we can’t” when you mean “I’m not on board.”
And don’t rely on passive grammar to do the hard work of honest communication.
Your team deserves more than subtext.
So say the thing. Kindly. Clearly. Directly.
That’s real leadership.
—
Beau Brown
Testing in the real world: messy, human, worth it.
Testing Tester 
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