Starting over isn’t as romantic as it sounds.
I don’t mean switching careers—that story’s already been told. I mean walking into a new team, a new tech stack, a new strategy, and realizing that most of what gave you confidence before doesn’t quite apply here.
That’s where I am right now.
I joined a new company recently—smart people, high standards, exciting mission. But almost everything about how testing is done here is different from where I came from. The frameworks are different. The tech stack is different. The strategy is less centralized. There’s no QA team. Everybody owns testing—which sometimes means nobody owns testing. And I’ve moved a few rungs down the chain of command, which means I’m not defining the process anymore. I’m trying to learn the process—fast.
To be clear: I’m learning a ton. About Kotlin Multiplatform, native mobile test frameworks, CI integrations, API integration testing, etc. About how startups evolve under pressure. About how to be useful even when I’m unsure.
But it’s also disorienting. And humbling. And, some days, a little bruising.
The Myth of the Clean Transition
I used to think moving to a new job meant transferring your skills and building on top of them like a stack of blocks. But the truth is, some transitions feel more like being disassembled. Like you showed up with a full toolbelt, only to find out most of your tools don’t fit the bolts anymore.
That’s not failure. It’s friction. And friction is what learning feels like in real time.
What’s hard is when that friction compounds:
- You start second-guessing decisions.
- You wonder if people think you’re behind.
- You spend time googling things you used to teach others.
- You do good work but it gets lost in the churn.
- You feel pressure to “prove” your value again, but you’re not sure how.
And quietly, that voice creeps in: Maybe I’m not cut out for this.
But here’s what I’ve learned from past transitions (and from therapy, and late-night journaling, and a few long walks):
Growth doesn’t always feel like growth. Sometimes it feels like failure until enough time has passed to see it differently.
Testing Without a Safety Net
Coming from a place where I had a whole QA team, it’s been an adjustment to work in a context where quality is “everyone’s job.” In theory, I love that. It’s collaborative. Empowering. Holistic.
But in practice?
Some things fall through the cracks.
Some bugs don’t get caught.
Some test coverage gets deprioritized.
I’ve had to recalibrate what it means to advocate for quality without sounding like a bottleneck—or a broken record.
What I’m Trying to Remember
A few things I keep telling myself (and maybe you need to hear them too):
- Your value isn’t tied to mastery. You’re allowed to not know. You’re allowed to ask.
- New teams mean new cultures. Not better or worse—just different. Watch, learn, and try to find where your voice adds something meaningful.
- You can lead from wherever you are. Even if you’re not defining the test strategy, your perspective still matters. Your habits still influence the team.
- You’ve done hard things before. This isn’t the first time you’ve felt lost. It won’t be the last. But you’ve always found your footing eventually.
Also: rest matters. Some of the confusion and burnout you’re feeling might not be about the job at all—it might just be about running on empty. So refill.
Starting Small
Here’s what I’ve been doing to stay grounded:
- Drawing messy mind maps and punch lists on my whiteboard.
- Keeping a scratchpad of “weird behaviors” I’ve seen, even if I don’t fully understand them yet.
- Writing down what I do know, so I can look back and see the learning curve.
- Taking five minutes each day to reflect: What did I learn today that I didn’t know yesterday?
Sometimes the only way forward is through the fog. But even when it’s slow, you’re still moving.
To anyone else starting over right now: I see you.
You’re not failing—you’re unfolding.
Keep learning. Keep drawing connections. Keep asking better questions.
Even when it doesn’t feel like it, you’re getting stronger.
—
Beau Brown
Testing in the real world: messy, human, worth it.
Testing Tester 
Leave a comment